When a Buenos Aires physician reached out to a Uruguay rabbi for advice, neither of them had any idea that such a simple e-mail would forge an ongoing friendship and provide fodder for a book.
But when Rabbi Eliezer Shemtov’s appropriately-titled A Bridge to Somewhere: A Rabbi and an Atheist Explore Their Jewishness was published by Spanish-bookseller Empiria Editores this year, both stood side by side to celebrate its release.
To hear them tell it, Dr. Raul Rovner was struggling with his daughter’s decision to embrace the tenets of a religiously observant Jewish life, specifically in the Chabad-Lubavitch community. He contacted Shemtov, director of the Montevideo-based Beit Jabad del Uruguay, telling him of his atheism and his two sons, one married, and one engaged, to non-Jewish women. At the root of it all, he didn’t understand his daughter’s spiritual path.
It was Rovner’s daughter who suggested he contact Shemtov, who had written several online pieces about various issues relating to Judaism. She thought he might provide her father with some answers.
To Rovner, at first, it seemed a bit strange to discuss personal issues with a virtual stranger. But he gradually gained confidence as a result of the interest and respect that Shemtov showed.
“That was what motivated me and pushed me to get more deeply and intensely involved,” said the physician. “I realized that I was able to express myself freely and present my ideas knowing that they would be taken into consideration and valued for what they are, even if disagreed with.”
What followed was a correspondence that lasted almost two years, and a friendship that continues to this day: A dialogue that transcended the external differences between the two men and forged the way for a deep and lasting closeness.
The questions and Shemtov’s responses covered a wide range of subjects: from the basis in Jewish law for not turning on lights during the Sabbath to the cultivation of faith in an infinite G‑d even when one doesn’t understand His ways. When Rovner expressed concerns about his non-Jewish grandchildren, Shemtov recommended some of his writings on the subject of intermarriage.
The correspondence between the rabbi and the doctor first appeared in installment form on the Jewish Web site Chabad.org in 2009.
Shemtov decided to publish it all in a book, because he figured that many other people could benefit from their discussions. Rovner’s first reaction was one of surprise.
“Who would be interested in the questions and points of view that I had expressed in my dialogues?” he said, believing that the exchanges were personal and not relevant to the general public.
Then, he began to realize that there might be others who shared his doubts and concerns who did not have someone like Shemtov. Ultimately, Rovner said he came to like the idea and accepted Shemtov’s proposal with enthusiasm.
In his introduction to the book, published in Spanish as Cruzando El Charco, Shemtov wrote of the importance of communication in cutting through divisive issues.
“To be a good communicator you need to be interested in understanding the other person as much as you want him or her to understand you,” wrote Shemtov. “Contrary to popular belief, it does not depend so much on external similarities or similar lifestyles, as it does on the sincerity with which one approaches the other.”
After about a year-and-a-half of online communication, Shemtov came to Buenos Aires to attend the wedding of Rovner’s daughter.
“It was very emotional,” said Rovner. “The exchange between us had developed into a deep friendship, and I fully enjoyed our first personal encounter.”
At the wedding, Shemtov presented Rovner with the Jewish ritual prayer boxes known as tefillin, which he began to wear. Rovner also began studying the Torah, infused with a desire to know more about his religion and its origins. As a result of his communications with Shemtov, Rovner said he came to understand his daughter better and respect her decision to live as an observant Jew.
Of the book, Dr. Manuel Tenenbaum, executive director of the Latin American Jewish Congress, stressed its engaging nature as it explored complicated issues about faith, religious belief and life.
“The format made the book attractive and easy to understand,” Tenenbaum wrote in a review, “and the exchange is very interesting for agnostics, or those who are simply uninformed.”
Rovner said that the experience had provided him with a rabbi to trust in.
“We are friends,” he said. “I know that I can count on him for whatever I may need.”
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